Gentlemen this question is purely out of curiosity and scientific study… There will be no judgment in your answers, but I would genuinely like someone to reply to my query.
I’ve noticed that some of you fiddle with your profile and your answers to increase your match percentage. Do you think this actually helps?! And do you think the women you’re trying to match don’t notice?
If the point of answering all of these ridiculous questions is to find someone that you are truly compatible with, what is the point of rigging your answers? So the idea I’m getting from this is I need to answer questions like I’m a right wing republican and I’ll get more dates?!
I’m finding this online dating thing more entertaining than TV.
Sunday night was the lunar eclipse and I watched with 100+ of my closest friends. Hanging out in the dark with a bunch of strangers was quite romantic. Ha! It just reinforced I need a date! It also brought to mind that silly camp song…
Just a boy and a girl in a little canoe
With the moon shining all around
As he glides his paddle
You couldn’t even hear a sound
And they talked and they talked
Till the moon grew dim
He said you better kiss me
Or get out and swim…
Y’all voted and the winner is….
You are picking my next fella. All three of these guys (I can’t say gentlemen) emailed this weekend. Below is an excerpt of their profile, their photo, and their email.
Your choices are:
Lovonlife73:
My self-summary: Adventurous, intelligent, creative man looking for a new adventure.
I have a very well-rounded collection of interests.
Love movies, intelligent conversations, car shows, museums, video games, trying new cuisine, trivia, travel, outdoors, football, reading, playing guitar, karaoke, cuddling, etc.
His email said: Hello there. I like your profile. You are very beautiful. Having any luck on here? I bet we would hit it off. Let’s talk.
Easygoing481:
My self-summary
I’m an honest,basic,down to earth man. I lead a fairly active life like doing side jobs,excercisng,socializing,and i like to do just about anything.i’m into sports,music,outdoors,camping,movies,shows,bike riding,playing sports(tennis,bowling,raquetball…),walks on the beach,among other things.i also like to do whatever your into.would like you to be honest,romantic,fairly aggressive,attractive,into some of my interests,among other things that will be revealed as we get to know each other…
His email said: hello, how are u doing today and how is life treating, hope fine do u mind me getting to know u better?
PasoP55:
Just fun cool laid back guy that have dreams and goals for the future.
What I’m doing with my life: Im in college so i can advance my education and im hustling struggling but im tryna survive
I’m really good at: Making beats and writing music. Playing sports and geting along with people.
His email said: How are you doing? My name is Wayne and I’m not going to lie you are very attractive to me. Can I get to know you?
As of now, this week’s calendar is mostly open. How this weekend shapes up is up to you dear friends… Speak now or forever hold your peace.
Summer bachelors, like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be.
-Nora Ephron
I’ve recently signed up for an online dating site. Wow. These boys are not a very creative lot. Complimentary, but not creative.
A friend once told me that my profile needs to be a sales pitch. I’m selling myself. We do that every day, whether consciously or not. What we wear, how we smell, and how nice we are to other people.
But to put myself in writing, to describe myself in such a way that a total stranger will find me interesting enough to want to meet me, that’s a toughie. I’ve worked on my profile for quite some time. Writing, editing, paraphrasing, rewording, polishing, and finally publishing. I let two good guy friends read it. One that knows me too well and one that wants to know me better. Both gave it a good thumbs up. I let #2 pick the final pictures I posted with my profile. #1 took a couple of them, so his opinion is subjective. Not that either really can be objective. I don’t think I ever take good photos. I always look like Rudolph with my red nose. But all of the photos I posted, I will concede, do not suck.
In general, I object to online dating. I would much prefer to meet my prospective fella in the wild, the old fashioned way. At the grocery store, at the dog park, or in a traffic accident. That just isn’t the way we do it anymore. They won’t speak to a girl in public any more than I’ll ram my car into you because you are cute.
So… My friends, I’m giving you a choice. I think you have gotten a sense of my irreverence in reading my blog. If you have any questions on my thoughts, please see this earlier post on dating.
So I finally pulled the trigger and signed up for Match.
I had been on Match a few years ago and went out on a few dates with little more than a few good stories to tell. So, to sign up for the same site, I was a little concerned I might accidentally pick someone I’d vetoed in the past.
One of the dates I’d been on before had ended quite… Interesting… To put it succinctly, he walked out. Fast forward to just a few days ago, HE showed up in my inbox as their “special match”. I knew immediately and deleted. He clearly had blocked the memory because when I showed up in his box, he picked me.
I don’t lie or exaggerate in my profile, I’m sarcastic, and if you have a problem with that, then you need to move along. Well, some good natured ribbing and he got up paid his portion of the tab, walked the server over informing her I needed my bill, and he walked out. I was laughing my ass off!! I couldn’t wait to pick up the phone and share this good gafaw. What a tool!!
So, not only does he have the exact same profile picture he did 2 years ago, he has the exact same profile text. Really?! Nothing about you has changed in 2 YEARS?!!
One can hope this little adventure will net me a tad more than fodder for your reading pleasure.
I did sorta sign up for a dating website. Sorta meaning I haven’t created a profile, so I’m not sure if anyone can actually see what I have put up. and I haven’t really looked too much.
Since I created this sorta profile, a real live fella asked me out. We met at the distillery. He’s been in a few times. As a habit, I flirt indiscriminately, but with this fella I flirted intentionally. I could never quite tell what his thoughts were. That is until a few days ago, when he gave me his card, and a note asking if I’d like to grab a drink sometime. I knew he had someone visiting (which is why he was in the distillery again). When I got home I sent a text (cheater) saying we would connect after his guest left, but that I was interested in getting together.
We have now texted for a couple of days and I have a date scheduled with a real live boy. I don’t normally like this texting before dating thing, but this time it feels kinda safe. He’s seen me in my natural habitat, so he has some idea of me. There’s nothing better than the euphoric high of the possibility of romance. It’s when the reality hits that we are faced with real decisions of hurt feelings and disappointment.
fingers crossed… there maybe another chapter here 😉
I’m thinking of giving online dating another try. I know, shoot me, please. But the old fashioned way isn’t working.
There are so many things about online dating that I dislike, but this dry spell must end.
So, dear friends I am calling on your creative juices. I need a sarcastic and catchy nom de plume for my profile handle. Please all, make suggestions. Make comments to this post (Don’t send me texts- you know who you are…). You all will decide and if no one sees it, no one can vote.
I’m putting my singleness in your hands people! Help dear Lula get a date!
And if you want to write my dating profile as well, I’m down with that. My own efforts are coming off a little too snarky, but that’s me. And what do I really have to lose?
Boys are stupid. I swear the penis gene makes you an idiot.
Why is it a woman can’t be friendly to a man without the assumption of interest? I am a friendly person. I am outgoing and generous. But why do they assume because I’m nice and extend a hand of friendship that means I want to pursue a sexual relationship?!
Why is it I can’t get a date with an available man I’m interested in? But if you have a wife at home then I’m hot shit? Grass is always greener. Enjoy the grass in your own damn pasture instead of looking to jump the fence.
I am not going to post a marriage proposal for any random nutter here or on Craigslist. I’m not going to send you nudie shots and if you send them to me, be assured, I won’t speak to you again.
Where the hell can a nice normal girl find a normal, slightly sarcastic guy? I’d prefer to meet one in the wild, in their natural habitat and not on some stupid website. I really think I look funny in pictures. And as picky as I am, I feel the judgement bounce right back to me. I do much better in person.
Now, if only I could run into the cute guy I smiled with in the elevator again…
as if dating isn’t hard enough, online dating really sucks. You go into it knowing this is a beauty pageant. you don’t really seek out the strangest looking person and think– oooh, that’s the one for me. you really hope to meet some real person with whom you can have a real conversation.
what I hate is that the online site has just made me feel like an even bigger piece of meat. this is a copy of an actual email I recently received (click to make it much bigger so you can actually read it):
I’m sure some geek will tell me this is generated by some algorithm and that they really are NOT sending me a pack of poor, ugly losers until I have proven my online worth. REALLY?!
It’s a good thing I have a healthy self-esteem. Otherwise this may have really hurt my feelings. I have a co-worker who every day (and I am not exaggerating in the slightest) has to tell me someone told her she was pretty. Now I have a computer telling me I’m pretty (well, HOT to be exact) so should I run off and brag about that? (FYI- this was rhetorical just in case you were thinking you should answer this)
But what I do want to know is how is a nice jewish girl supposed to meet someone when even the dating deck is stacked? I really just want to meet some nice fella the old-fashioned way- reaching for the same bunch of asparagus at New Seasons. I’m holding out hope that this is a possibility; that not all the good ones are skulking around the world-wide whatever.
In my ongoing pursuit of knowledge about the opposite sex I have met a few new gentlemen (purely in pursuit of knowledge, cocktails are a bonus).
I’ve always hated “dating”. An agreed upon location with awkward conversation trying to suss out things you have in common. Only to realize the only thing in common is that you both breathe. Followed by the requisite let’s do this again or I’ll call you (with hopes that neither actually occur).
I’m more of the let’s grab a beer and have an honest conversation. My manners are not always stellar, I do swear like a trucker and am incredibly sarcastic. While I can be crass and inappropriate, I am well read, can tell you what the odd fork at top of your plate is for, what’s the difference between a pinot and a cabernet, and I can walk quite well in 4″ Pradas.
What I don’t know is who pays? We are now in a culture of equality and shattered glass ceilings. But truth be told, I’m a southerner and I have no problem with doors being held and the guy picking up the tab. I also have no problem paying my share for the outting if it’s not a date. But I think I feel (kinda wishy-washy) the fella should pay for the first date, if it’s a date. Which then leads to the question- is this a date?!
I googled this query and have no clearer answer than when I started. Everyone has an opinion, but is there really a right or wrong answer here? I’m really trying not to be the giant gaff I feel I am headed for.
This is one of those questions that has so many connotations. I am not a gold digger. If a guy is loaded but is bald, fat and has no personality I can’t fake being interested. While every girl fantasizes about finding some rich, handsome, witty guy the movie ending doesn’t really happen. I don’t entirely care what you do for a living, but I do need to know you make enough that I am not going to be supporting you.
In the new world of online dating, the initial awkward conversation should be a thing of the past. But when there is no spark or he has no personality, how do you (meaning me) say thanks but no thanks? How honest are you? I really hate this part!
I see a giant sink hole waiting to suck me up. I hate dating. I hate trying to figure out what all these codes and signals mean. I feel like a train conductor that has a locomotive heading right for me and I forgot to read the manual of what the colored flags mean.
Anyone who has ever signed up for online dating has thought this.
Thanks to sis-in-law for this awesome and most apt comic after Bambi.
The funny thing is, with everyone blogging, facebooking, tweeting, checking in… we (as a society) think nothing of people taking pictures of everything. So, as ABSURD as this comic seems, I have NO DOUBT this conversation has been had. Let’s reflect on COPS. I’m sure the poor idiot who is taken down on this show is more than proud to show that video to his drinking buddies over and over again. Dude- check out those guns! The only reason they caught me was cuz my pants were down!
Be sure, the next time I get arrested (No Mother, I have NEVER been arrested- REALLY!) I will ask for the mug shot for my facebook profile.
Lula Harp 