Gentlemen this question is purely out of curiosity and scientific study… There will be no judgment in your answers, but I would genuinely like someone to reply to my query.
I’ve noticed that some of you fiddle with your profile and your answers to increase your match percentage. Do you think this actually helps?! And do you think the women you’re trying to match don’t notice?
If the point of answering all of these ridiculous questions is to find someone that you are truly compatible with, what is the point of rigging your answers? So the idea I’m getting from this is I need to answer questions like I’m a right wing republican and I’ll get more dates?!
I’m finding this online dating thing more entertaining than TV.
A quandary, a riddle, a conundrum… No matter how I look at it, I’ve got a question… Or do I have a riddle wrapped in a question? Maybe I just have a puzzling question or a problem. Are conundrums the same as doldrums?
Where am I going with this rambling rant of non-sensical drivel? The entire first paragraph are examples of a conundrum. Most recently, or at least since about 1800, we have associated the word with a puzzling problem that needs resolution. My most recent conundrum is there is a fella on the dating site that I would be genuinely interested in. I sent him a message and he never responded. A week or so later, I am fairly certain I saw him at the dog park. We said Good Morning and kept on our respective walks. My conundrum is, do I send him a message and ask if was him or ask how he enjoyed the dog park (a little stalkerish), or do I just roll on and forget about it?
The Oxford English Dictionary advises while the origin of the word conundrum is lost, the earliest recorded use of the word is 1596. But the word possibly originated in some university joke, or as a parody of some Latin term of the schools, which would agree with its unfixed form in 17–18th century as a pun or play on words with similar sounds.
I am dying to know what is it about me or my profile that the only people who message me are the people I have ZERO interest in. I boldly sent the following message to a couple of fellas: This message is really more just for curiosity and personal growth than anything, but what about my profile wasn’t of interest or made you not want to respond to my original message? My inbox is full of hey, hi, and inarticulate drivel from people I have no interest in. I’m trying to figure out how to make an actual connection on this site and if that’s actually possible.
I think my real conundrum is HOW to meet a fella I have something in common with that does not involve a sales pitch and the internet. I volunteer in my community, I am at the park daily, I go to public watering holes where the opposite sex visit, and I am making an effort to be more visually appealing (as my mother told me, I put on lipstick). If I were willing to date someone in my office, my social calendar would be full. I had to laugh the other day, I had a guy nearly trip over himself checking me out. I assure you this DOES NOT happen in the real world.
This whole online dating thing is making me a little conundrumed (1629; crotchety or slightly crazed). I’ve gussied up the display racks, the store shelves are stocked with merchandise, and the Open sign is lit. But no one is shopping in my store. Part of the conundrum is why am I doing this if no one is interested in my wares? I think my store is too progressive and too bold for this market. I feel like a voodoo priestess who just set up shop in Utah.
A couple side notes: The awesome art here is from my friend at Draw Eric. Please check out his other work.
I love Eric’s work. We have been friends since college when we met in an art class. We have been through so many of life’s ups and downs together. He sent me the art a couple weeks ago and I haven’t looked at it again until today when I sat down to plug it into my blog. It struck me how his images (both of them) so perfectly reflect and complement the words that flowed out of me today. The top image is a maze or convoluted path leading to or around a heart. The bottom image is the dragon I think these weird Memphis fellas think I am.
Today’s prompt is a map. What a map reminds me of, are the things on my to do list that have gotten shoved aside with the madness of my last 15 months. It reminds me of bittersweet trips I’ve taken, of trips I’ve missed, of unexpected trips, and the elusive trip.
The number one thing on my to do list that I’m embarrassed to say is… I need to renew my passport. And lately this one just glares at me daily. I can tell you there have been other expenses that have been more important at the time, I’ve filled out the forms and they sat on my desk gathering dust because I haven’t gotten a haircut, or I didn’t have a stamp, or some other excuse.
On the dating website, there are a series of questions to answer. Some seem rather innocuous and others are embarrassingly revealing. But the one I cannot bring myself to answer, until I can answer it the way I want, is: Do you have a current passport?
This may sound kinda snobby, and a little telling about me, but I cannot believe I haven’t left the country in 10 *TEN* years. I miss the exploration of different cultures, dishes, views, and histories. I’ve been traveling and exploring our own country, but it just isn’t the same. I think most folks who have travelled abroad will agree with that.
To do… ASAP… Renew passport. Actually I’m having a good hair day and my outfit looks very nice. I’m going to stop and have my passport photo taken today.
Sunday night was the lunar eclipse and I watched with 100+ of my closest friends. Hanging out in the dark with a bunch of strangers was quite romantic. Ha! It just reinforced I need a date! It also brought to mind that silly camp song…
Just a boy and a girl in a little canoe
With the moon shining all around
As he glides his paddle
You couldn’t even hear a sound
And they talked and they talked
Till the moon grew dim
He said you better kiss me
Or get out and swim…
Y’all voted and the winner is….
You are picking my next fella. All three of these guys (I can’t say gentlemen) emailed this weekend. Below is an excerpt of their profile, their photo, and their email.
Your choices are:
Lovonlife73:
My self-summary: Adventurous, intelligent, creative man looking for a new adventure.
I have a very well-rounded collection of interests.
Love movies, intelligent conversations, car shows, museums, video games, trying new cuisine, trivia, travel, outdoors, football, reading, playing guitar, karaoke, cuddling, etc.
His email said: Hello there. I like your profile. You are very beautiful. Having any luck on here? I bet we would hit it off. Let’s talk.
Easygoing481:
My self-summary
I’m an honest,basic,down to earth man. I lead a fairly active life like doing side jobs,excercisng,socializing,and i like to do just about anything.i’m into sports,music,outdoors,camping,movies,shows,bike riding,playing sports(tennis,bowling,raquetball…),walks on the beach,among other things.i also like to do whatever your into.would like you to be honest,romantic,fairly aggressive,attractive,into some of my interests,among other things that will be revealed as we get to know each other…
His email said: hello, how are u doing today and how is life treating, hope fine do u mind me getting to know u better?
PasoP55:
Just fun cool laid back guy that have dreams and goals for the future.
What I’m doing with my life: Im in college so i can advance my education and im hustling struggling but im tryna survive
I’m really good at: Making beats and writing music. Playing sports and geting along with people.
His email said: How are you doing? My name is Wayne and I’m not going to lie you are very attractive to me. Can I get to know you?
As of now, this week’s calendar is mostly open. How this weekend shapes up is up to you dear friends… Speak now or forever hold your peace.
Summer bachelors, like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be.
-Nora Ephron
I’ve recently signed up for an online dating site. Wow. These boys are not a very creative lot. Complimentary, but not creative.
A friend once told me that my profile needs to be a sales pitch. I’m selling myself. We do that every day, whether consciously or not. What we wear, how we smell, and how nice we are to other people.
But to put myself in writing, to describe myself in such a way that a total stranger will find me interesting enough to want to meet me, that’s a toughie. I’ve worked on my profile for quite some time. Writing, editing, paraphrasing, rewording, polishing, and finally publishing. I let two good guy friends read it. One that knows me too well and one that wants to know me better. Both gave it a good thumbs up. I let #2 pick the final pictures I posted with my profile. #1 took a couple of them, so his opinion is subjective. Not that either really can be objective. I don’t think I ever take good photos. I always look like Rudolph with my red nose. But all of the photos I posted, I will concede, do not suck.
In general, I object to online dating. I would much prefer to meet my prospective fella in the wild, the old fashioned way. At the grocery store, at the dog park, or in a traffic accident. That just isn’t the way we do it anymore. They won’t speak to a girl in public any more than I’ll ram my car into you because you are cute.
So… My friends, I’m giving you a choice. I think you have gotten a sense of my irreverence in reading my blog. If you have any questions on my thoughts, please see this earlier post on dating.
I have one and it is the world tiniest tattoo. Most people think it’s a smudge and I was able to keep it hidden from my mother for a while under a round circle Band-Aid.
I got it in college from a guy named Buzzard. For years I’ve known what my next one would be, but my aversion to pain has kept me from doing it. Now I absolutely know what my next two will be, but I told my mother I would wait till she was dead before I get another one. That could be another 20 years. What was I thinking?! After all I’ve dealt with in the last year with my shoulder, my pain tolerance has changed.
Jewish law states that if you are tattooed you cannot be buried in a Jewish cemetery. They’ve loosened this a bit after the Holocaust with survivors tattooed with their numbers. But in the last 20 or so years tattoos have become an expression of our individuality, our faith and our personal billboard for beliefs. There was a great article in Reform Judaism magazine about two years ago. My mother’s favorite rabbi was one of the feature stories. While he is her favorite, it did not change her mind on the matter.
This past weekend, was the First Annual International Rockabilly Music Festival here in Memphis. I went not only to hear great music, especially Hillbilly Casino, but to meet some cute tattooed fella. I’ll tell you, I think there’s nothing sexier than a guy who looks like a boring banker on the outside, and under his Oxford, is a tattooed rockabilly. While the turnout for this event was just short of abysmal, the music was great. Fellas were in short supply, but I had fun with my friends. Best of all, Hillbilly Casino was worth hanging out in the sun for.
What do you think my mother would say if I brought this cutie home? I’d be delighted, but his wife probably has other ideas 😄
One of these days, I’ll find my own tattooed fella. Until then, I just keep an eye out, an ear open and enjoy the show.
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Tattoo….You?.”
I did sorta sign up for a dating website. Sorta meaning I haven’t created a profile, so I’m not sure if anyone can actually see what I have put up. and I haven’t really looked too much.
Since I created this sorta profile, a real live fella asked me out. We met at the distillery. He’s been in a few times. As a habit, I flirt indiscriminately, but with this fella I flirted intentionally. I could never quite tell what his thoughts were. That is until a few days ago, when he gave me his card, and a note asking if I’d like to grab a drink sometime. I knew he had someone visiting (which is why he was in the distillery again). When I got home I sent a text (cheater) saying we would connect after his guest left, but that I was interested in getting together.
We have now texted for a couple of days and I have a date scheduled with a real live boy. I don’t normally like this texting before dating thing, but this time it feels kinda safe. He’s seen me in my natural habitat, so he has some idea of me. There’s nothing better than the euphoric high of the possibility of romance. It’s when the reality hits that we are faced with real decisions of hurt feelings and disappointment.
fingers crossed… there maybe another chapter here 😉
I’m thinking of giving online dating another try. I know, shoot me, please. But the old fashioned way isn’t working.
There are so many things about online dating that I dislike, but this dry spell must end.
So, dear friends I am calling on your creative juices. I need a sarcastic and catchy nom de plume for my profile handle. Please all, make suggestions. Make comments to this post (Don’t send me texts- you know who you are…). You all will decide and if no one sees it, no one can vote.
I’m putting my singleness in your hands people! Help dear Lula get a date!
And if you want to write my dating profile as well, I’m down with that. My own efforts are coming off a little too snarky, but that’s me. And what do I really have to lose?
This morning had the briefest of rocky starts. I slept like crap. For whatever reason, I couldn’t sleep Saturday night. That’s not entirely true. I fell asleep about 8pm on the couch and napped for about 20 minutes. When I went to bed, I didn’t fall asleep til about 1am. Grrrrr. So, I woke a bit sleepy.
Per my normal weekend morning, I enjoyed my morning joe on the porch watching the world drive by, picking the occasional weed. This morning, I managed to prune my roses and top off the yard debris can. That all goes in the success column.
All of that and a brunch date. A second date. He and I have flirted for a couple of years and both have very busy lives. I’ve told him the slow progression to which this has occurred is quite alright by me (being Bambi and all).
We met for brunch at a place I’ve been wanting to try. Simpatica Dining Hall , a catering company that serves dinner and brunch on the weekends.
Upon entering the building I was enveloped in the warm, comforting aromas of breakfast. Down a few steps, past a few folks waiting in line to see my gentleman caller. We were already on the list and got seated pretty quickly. Our server was a lovely woman, who made it clear she had a sense of humor pretty quickly. All signs looking good. I ordered coffee and a bloody mary. Date got a screwdriver. Bloody Mary B-, weak and not much personality. Pickled veggies that were skewered across the top A+.
I had heard from a friend and reliable source that the French toast was the things to have. But I’m not a huge fan of French toast, so I told date. He declined saying he needed meat. (he’s scoring points!) I got fried chicken with a biscuit and gravy that were great. A hint of curry powder in the batter that really made you think there’s something special going on. Just a hint so you had to really think about what that flavor was. I was stumped until the server shared the secret. When I had the second piece cold at the sink for dinner, the curry was significantly more noticeable. And still quite good.
Date had chicken fried steak with gravy and scrambled eggs. I had a taste and it was quite good. He left an empty plate, so I’m fairly certain he was satisfied with his selection. But, truth be told, I think he was a little jealous of my fried chicken. Winner. Winner.
We went for a short walk around the neighborhood before heading to the still. I had to share our bloody mary with him (seeing as it’s amazing). He took off shortly after and I got to work.
Ahhhh Sunday. Now on to the grind of the week. Happy Monday. Oh you want more dirt on the date? Oh, sorry, I don’t kiss and tell.
and ps… I posted this one entirely from my phone, so I apologize if the pictures are blurry and things look a little weird.
as if dating isn’t hard enough, online dating really sucks. You go into it knowing this is a beauty pageant. you don’t really seek out the strangest looking person and think– oooh, that’s the one for me. you really hope to meet some real person with whom you can have a real conversation.
what I hate is that the online site has just made me feel like an even bigger piece of meat. this is a copy of an actual email I recently received (click to make it much bigger so you can actually read it):
I’m sure some geek will tell me this is generated by some algorithm and that they really are NOT sending me a pack of poor, ugly losers until I have proven my online worth. REALLY?!
It’s a good thing I have a healthy self-esteem. Otherwise this may have really hurt my feelings. I have a co-worker who every day (and I am not exaggerating in the slightest) has to tell me someone told her she was pretty. Now I have a computer telling me I’m pretty (well, HOT to be exact) so should I run off and brag about that? (FYI- this was rhetorical just in case you were thinking you should answer this)
But what I do want to know is how is a nice jewish girl supposed to meet someone when even the dating deck is stacked? I really just want to meet some nice fella the old-fashioned way- reaching for the same bunch of asparagus at New Seasons. I’m holding out hope that this is a possibility; that not all the good ones are skulking around the world-wide whatever.
Lula Harp 