is THIS real?

I went out last night with a new friend. A real, live person. We talked and really laughed out loud. The only time we pulled out our phones were to put events on our calendars or to make a note of some new place we needed to see or eat.

This fun evening, coupled with a few other recent events, has made me question more this great new world of technology we have so greedily embraced.

I preface this next statement with “I am not on Facebook”. So this nugget got to me second and even third hand.  A friend recently posted something about unfriending people who weren’t “real” friends with her on fb. I think that’s a bit of an oxymoron.  Real friends on fb.  I do not discount that you can reconnect with lost friends and keep up with family far away through fb. What I scoff at is if the ONLY way you communicate with your friends is through an online medium, are these real relationships?

I have met so many wonderful people through blogging. I adore Margie, Chef Connie is an incredible teacher and Neil and Emily have inspired me. I would love more than anything to really sit down at a real table and break bread with all of these fine folks. But our distance prevents this. Who knows if when we were all in a room together there would only be the sound of crickets. We may be the most dull, boring people in the world who only know how to communicate through the written word. I’m guessing that this isn’t the case based on the things we’ve all written about. We are all involved in our communities. We all get out and explore the worlds in our own backyards.

While texting and Facebook may be a tool TO communicate, I implore you, that this isn’t your ONLY communication tool. There is nothing more satisfying than sharing a ginger beer and a plate of fruit jellies with a real live person after texting to set that date.


I want to make clear, I’m not shaking my finger at anyone in particular. This is just something that stuck in my craw and got me thinking about how all of us don’t pick up the phone and say hello as much as we used to.  Why  call when it is so darn easy to type?


Published by Lula Harp

I'm a mad scientist trying to find my tools.

12 thoughts on “is THIS real?

  1. OMG Lula, I had to double check you meant me, LOL! I am so freakin tickled you would zero in on me. You got it woman. If you met me in person tomorrow, I swear you would KNOW me. We would laugh, drink and carry on like we have known each other for years! I am such a face to face person and get what you are saying. This made me smile knowing my spirit has infiltrated the internet waves, seeping into your life, ready or not!

    xx, Margie


  2. I hear you, sister! My real siblings are spread far and wide, but we keep up with each other on Facebook. I read all about what they’re doing, what their kids are up to and see pictures of their grandkids all on line. Before Facebook, I had lost touch with all of my step-siblings. I may only be hearing about a tiny portion of their lives, but it is better than nothing. One downside is that my younger siblings no longer take the time to communicate by phone, everything is on-line. This actually is a time-saver, but sometimes you just need to hear the voice, you know? So, FB is a two-edged sword.

    I have recently been in touch with people from high school through FB. While it is fun to see what their lives have become, I have to wonder if it is worth the effort to cultivate friendships with people who are so peripheral to my life. It isn’t as though I would give up a weekend to go to one of their kids’ weddings, or such. I have found that I don’t share the same ideals with some of them and after the third irritating diatribe against the current regime, I just unfriend them. Who needs that extra irritation in your life?


    1. It’s great to get someone else’s perspective, since as I mentioned, I am not on facebook to cultivate those relationships. I moved away from the town I grew up in as soon as I could. I kinda feel like, if I had wanted to keep in touch with those folks I would have. I have kept up with a handful of people and that is plenty. I agree, having people who are so far removed from my life and my passions, it’s hard to keep a friendship going when you disagree on so many important things.


  3. I have a personal FB page that I pretty much ignore, but *have to* have one for my business FB page, so *they* say. FB, Pintrest, etc are all ploys by marketers to get us to expose more and more about ourselves so they can target us with more advertising.

    Better to count friends of quality than in quantity. Like you, you’re a true friend. We call each other to make dates for real time fun. 😉

    With old school things like knitting, slow cooking and canning being *in* again, maybe some day youngsters will resort to sending written notes via snail mail, meeting in person than in chat rooms, and love the idea of device-free days.


    1. We can only hope that “youngsters” will realize the importance of real human contact and the value of face time. I’m guilty (and I apologize to everyone who I have failed to write to) of being a TERRIBLE letter writer. Never have been good at it. I love getting letters and cards, but I have a card box of addressed envelopes with no hope of ever getting sent. so in that vein, the internet is a blessing for me.

      I agree, quality over quantity! I am delighted and blessed to have true friends like you! Thanks deviled egg 😀


  4. Absolutely! I saw one of those funny charts (you know, the ones that people make up just so it’ll get passed around on the internet?) on facebook of all places. I check my facebook once a day and happened to see this. It was a line chart with one line labeled “How much she uses Pinterest” steadily increasing, and another line “How much she notices my existence” steadily decreasing at the same time. It made me so mad!

    Websites like Pinterest (and facebook, etc.) are great tools when used properly. However, people have a hard time putting the technology down and walking away from it so they can apply the inspiration they’ve found or interact with the friends they have, in real life. But realization is the first step! I’m off to get some stuff done in the real world now 🙂



    1. No kidding! I’ve had to stop bookmarking crafts that I want to do and finish the ones I’m in the middle of!

      And I can’t be on Pintrest since I’m not on fb or twitter (I know bc I tried). But that just makes me one less marketing guinea pig. Truth be told, I’m ok with that.


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