the language we speak…

This morning is the first day I’ve woken up feeling moderately human. I actually woke at 7:12am saying is it monday? is it monday? OMG I’m going to be late. As it turns out, it is sunday; but when you’ve been off work for a week, trapped at home, and hopped up on drugs, you lose track of time.

I was starting to feel better yesterday. Actually got a shower and out of the house for a few minutes, even if just to go buy dog food. I had to get out of the house as I was on the verge of a tiny meltdown. I really miss Portland. I miss my neighborhood Vietnamese restaurant with my favorite pho (extra important when sick). I miss being able to walk to the grocery store. I miss all the weird creative types. and I really, REALLY miss my friends and community dinners.

I am trying so hard to meet new people and I have made some wonderful, wonderful new friends. But starting from scratch is so hard. My favorite new friend and I bonded over a moment at a women’s get-to-know-you game, where I gave a true glimpse of the real Lula. One of the ladies said I find it so hard to make new friends now that I’m over 40. Off the cuff, without even thinking, I said “I find it so hard to make new friends because most of the time I’m thinking you’re an idiot and I wish you’d just shut the fuck up.” This got a laugh from the table, but I immediately worried who I had offended. Little did I know, my message was received and shared by two of the ladies at the table.

So often since coming to Memphis, I feel like I’m speaking a foreign language. People don’t say what they mean and don’t mean what they say. So me, in my true self, speak frankly and honestly, cannot get anyone to give me a straight answer because they aren’t actually hearing the words I am saying, and not interpreting them in the literal sense I intend. I’ve never been good at game playing, other than to stir the pot. I’m a master pot-stirrer 😉

Other than going to church, or volunteering, how do you recommend connecting with other people? I’m looking for any and all suggestions, no matter how ridiculous.

Published by Lula Harp

I'm a mad scientist trying to find my tools.

13 thoughts on “the language we speak…

  1. Look for volunteer opportunities. Most areas have some sort of volunteer organization. If you like animals, the local ASPCA always needs help. Most hospitals have volunteer positions. Schools. Senior citizen centers. And most only ask for a few hours a week.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m currently volunteering at two local theatres, the neighborhood association, and different community projects. While this has been fun, it hasn’t connected me with other individuals as I had hoped it would.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I know you are trying like hell. Wish I had something to offer. I love the Portland you. Keep it no matter where you wind up. Any chance you could land a job you would love back in Portland?

    Liked by 1 person

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