Dear Memphis Drivers

I want you to know one thing. You SUCK!

You think that’s it’s normal to cut across three lanes to make a right turn. I’m fairly certain you have no idea your vehicle comes equipped with blinkers. Everyday I get on the road with you, I fear for my life.

The first three months I lived here, you nearly killed me three times. Why, WHY, would you think it’s okay, or even a good idea, to drive down the freeway with a refrigerator standing in the back of your truck without having it tied down? Did you know that the common practice is to move over a lane when you see a car coming onto the freeway, and not speed up?

Ok.  Pop quiz…  If you are driving up a hill to turn left and there is a stop sign at the top of the hill before the turn,

You…

A) Stop, then turn when the road is clear
B) Speed up, move into the oncoming lane, and fly around the car stopped at the stop sign.

This is just a thought, and this might sound crazy, but you STOP. What the hell were you thinking when you sped around me?! Was your trip to Walmart that important? Or were you about to miss the finale of the Bachelor?

Did you know that there is a LAW that if you are driving slower than the normal rate of traffic you must be in the right hand lane? Clearly this slipped past you, because this seems to be the norm around here!

Just do one thing for me and I’ll leave you be.  Please, Please, Please… Hang up the PHONE!

Sincerely (starting to rethink her career as a NASCAR driver),
Driving Miss Daisy (Insane)

 

Taking a left turn to Albequerque… I still need your votes on my poll… Let me know how YOU are going to help me find a fella

Published by Lula Harp

I'm a mad scientist trying to find my tools.

9 thoughts on “Dear Memphis Drivers

  1. You know, I’ve driven all over this great country of ours, and have found really bad drivers every place I’ve driven. It constantly amazes me that there are not more accidents in any given day. The rules are there, not to be broken, but to keep traffic flowing! The only defense is to drive defensively, as though you know that you are the only sane driver on the road.

    I have been cut off, forced off of the road, rear-ended, and once, while I had a car full of little girls, had an idiot who thought I wasn’t going fast enough in the left lane of the freeway, who waited for me to move to the right lane (after I passed the semi in the right lane), then he jumped in front of me and slammed on his brakes. I had an instant flash of my sister and her friends squished by a semi. I was shaking so hard I had to pull off of the road. The guy and his girlfriend went off, laughing and pointing. I can only hope that karma is real!

    I will say that I have found the drivers in Portland to be the most courteous I’ve ever run across (pun intended!).

    Liked by 1 person

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